No two people or relationships are the same, which holds true in terms of the sexual aspect of your relationship. The details of your sex life are going to differ from that of your friends’, and that’s perfectly normal.
However, there are a few hallmark characteristics of a sexually healthy relationship. That’s not to say that your relationship is bad if it doesn’t include one or more of the following points. But it is worth having a conversation with your partner if you feel that the sex in your relationship could use some improvement.
1. You’re Honest About What You Want
If you’re not comfortable talking to your partner about what you want in the bedroom, you’re never going to have as satisfying a sex life as you could. You can expect your partner to read your mind and vice versa.
Therefore, the best of all the sex tips for couples is to have open, honest communication, both in and out of the bedroom.
2. You’re Flirty With Eachother
Sexual health in a relationship isn’t all about the physical act of having sex. What happens in between is just as if not more important than your time between the sheets.
Flirting is a major sign of a healthy sex life, whether you’re still dating or having sex in marriage. Do you and your partner exchange flirty texts throughout the day? Do you remind your partner often of how attractive you find them?
Relationships are all about the little things – making small gestures that show your partner that you’re attracted to them in both a physical and romantic sense.
3. You’re Not Counting
The average married couple has sex about 50 times a year, or once a week. You and your partner might fall a little below this statistic or well above it, depending on your dynamic and where you each fall on the libido spectrum.
Sex in a relationship is less about how many times a week you have sex and more about your satisfaction with whatever number it is. If you have a sexually healthy relationship, neither you nor your partner is counting. You have sex when you feel like it and you don’t when you don’t.
4. You Feel Comfortable Saying No
Continuing with the idea of not having sex when you don’t feel like doing so, both you and your partner should feel comfortable saying no. Having “pity sex,” or sex with your partner because they want to, even when you don’t feel like it, can lead to a significant drop in libido.
This is because you’re training your brain to think of sex as a chore rather than a treat. In a healthy relationship, you’re not offended if your partner declines intimacy in a kind way every once in a while.
Look for These Characteristics of a Sexually Healthy Relationship in Your Own Life
At the end of the day, only you and your partner can know how healthy or unhealthy your relationship is. That said, knowing some of the characteristics of a sexually healthy relationship and comparing them to your own can help you determine if there’s room for improvement.
Remember, open communication is the number one key to a strong bond and a healthy sex life. If you’re unsure of where to start, start by talking!
And if you’re in need of further physical and emotional relationship advice, take a look at our blog.